How Arceus REALLY Created the World
by Abandoned-Account11
Summary: Everybody believes Arceus is wise, powerful, and smart. Well... they're wrong. Arceus is actually really derpy and kind of on the unintelligent side. Nevertheless, Arceus created the world, and this is how he REALLY did it. Not with 1,000 arms like the Pokedex says (seriously, he only has four)...


_The Pokedex tells you that Arceus emerged from an egg and shaped the universe with 1,000 arms (I only see 4... smh) and all of that. But face it, all of that isn't real. They're just trying to save the poor legendary's pride. He created a bunch of legendaries for fun, but things got WAY out of hand... this is how Arceus REALLY created the world._

* * *

Arceus floated in the air, staring into the black with obvious boredom. The rings encircling his middle glowed brightly, and he scowled to himself. He stamped a hoof, and though there was nothing below him, a metallic ring resounded through the nothingness.

"I'm BORED! There's nothing to do but be a king. And I'm bored of being king..." he whined. The hair on his head whipped about majestically in the nonexistent breeze. An idea slowly dawned in his smart, god-like brain. His scowl softened and he smirked instead.

"I don't have anything to be king of, so I'll create stuff! Then I can rule over it!" he seemed satisfied with this, and began his work.

He started by creating a bunch of Pokemon, like himself. They were powerful, but not as powerful as him. Nothing must prevent him from being supreme overlord. He started with Palkia and Diagla, the Pokemon of space and time. They stood there, staring at themselves awkwardly. Arceus commanded them to do as he said. Before they could say anything, he barked out orders that boomed through the nothingness.

"Palkia! The pink one! You control the nothingness. I shall call it space, because that's all it is. An empty space. Have fun," he proclaimed. Palkia stared into the distance.

"Um, how... my lord?" she asked dubiously. Her tail lashed about. Arceus rolled his eyes.

"You moron. Just... do space stuff," he suggested grouchily. Then he turned his frightful gaze to the blue Pokemon.

"Diagla! The blue one! You are the Pokemon of time. You can control what time it is. Now what time is it?" he asked eagerly. The blue Pokemon stared at him skeptically for a moment, shifting from leg to leg.

"I... um... it's..." he stared at the overlord a moment, "four-thirty?"

"BRILLIANT! THIS IS THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD!" the white legendary crowed. Both of the other Pokemon cowered down at his mighty voice. He calmed down and ordered Diagla to stand aside as he created more Pokemon.

He created an adorable little pink Pokemon which he fondly called Mew. Then, deciding Mew might be lonely, he gave it a buddy. It was like Mew, except different. He named it Mewtwo.

"You two! Mewtwo! Heh. You shall be my servants. Amuse me!" he ordered. The two stared at each other, then at him.

"Why?" Mew asked in a squeaky voice laced with suspicion. Arceus roared in laughter, causing all the others to flinch once more.

"Your voice is so cute!" he howled. Mew quaked in terror. The Mewtwo patted him fondly on the head, receiving a dirty look from the cat-like legendary. He lifted up both of them and set them on the head of Diagla, ordering them to stay still. He was enjoying himself. Look at what he could do!

Next came three birds. One blue one, one red one, and one yellow one.

"You! You shall be Articuno. You shall be Zapdos, and you shall be Moltres," he declared in triumph. The three elemental birds skeptically looked at their overlord.

"He looks like a llama to me," Zapdos whispered to Moltres with a snort.

The firey bird replied in a hushed voice, "What's a llama?"

"SILENCE! MOVE ASIDE!" Arceus demanded.

Before long, the great commander had made at least fifty powerful Pokemon, each with their own assigned jobs. The legendaries grumpily served him. They polished his hooves, danced for him, and combed his silky mane/hair/horn thing. He felt quite happy with his work, and relaxed as the Pokemon asked him for new jobs to serve him with tinges of disgust.

"Say, where's Palkia? I sent that fool off to do space stuff," Arceus asked lazily. The other Pokemon shrugged. He pointed a massive hoof at the blue legendary.

"Diagla! Retrieve your girlfriend!" he roared.

"She's not my girlfriend!" he screeched right back. With a single slam of his leg, he sent the legendary flying through space.

"I DON'T CARE. FIND HER!" the commander howled. The Pokemon once more dove for cover, and then tentatively came back. Quickly, he returned, leading Palkia with obvious grouchiness. Arceus snarled at Palkia.

"What were you doing, fool?" the god beseeched her.

"As you commanded, sir. I went and did... space stuff, as you called it," she replied meekly. Arceus glared at her.

"Like what?"

"I... created a world?"

"WHAT!?" his voice didn't bother the others too much this time. They'd figured out he had a terrible temper and not too much intelligence.

"Yes. I created a world and placed bipedal creatures on it. I call them humans. Do you want to see it?"

"I would indeed. Take me there!" he ordered. The pink legendary flew off, and Arceus followed. The others came behind him, muttering and whispering among themselves.

"This is the world of Pokemon that I created," Palkia sighed, gesturing to it with her hand. Arceus floated over it, watching the 'humans' meander about.

"THIS IS THE BEST THING I EVER CREATED!" he roared again in delight. Then he created over 700 Pokemon instantly, because he could. They weren't anywhere near as powerful, but he wanted the teensy creatures to be amused, too. Then he poked a human happily. It was so squishy! It promptly was... squished. Bright red stuff spattered over his hoof and he instantly raised it up in disgust.

"Clean this off, Zekrom and Reshiram!" he ordered. The black and white Pokemon reluctantly obeyed, using a massive silk cloth. Palkia crossed her arms over her chest and sulked.

"You're welcome," she muttered. Arceus turned to her slowly.

"I CREATED YOU, YOU IDIOT! THEREFORE, ANYTHING YOU DO IS TECHNICALLY MY ACCOMPLISHMENT!" he screeched. The Pokemon stared angrily at each other, then at the god having a temper tantrum. He flew about, shooting Dragon Pulses everywhere and screaming.

"Okay, I am so done with Arceus!" a Psychic-legendary called Waibu hissed. He launched a Psystrike attack, which lanced straight towards the overlord. It hit him straight-on in the shoulder, leaving a large burn. Arceus stopped and went stiff. He slowly turned his dreadful gaze on the proud legendary.

"YOU DARE STRIKE ME!" he launched a Judgement attack at Waibu, who promptly was disintegrated. The other Pokemon's mouths dropped open in shock. Then they all turned on the leader, shouting complaints. They began to attack the overlord, who attacked back.

A massive, two-minute war ensued. It was pandemonium as the legendaries launched attacks and Arceus responded. It wasn't long before the god had killed a few and sent the others fleeing towards the world of Pokemon. He sat back in the stars, annoyed. His hair/horn/mane thing was wiggling in its rage.

Oh well. A bunch of dangerous legendaries were now on a planet filled with helpless, squishy creatures.

What could go wrong?

 **A/N: Okay, I honestly have no idea what this is. Just a derpy one-shot about what would've happened if Arceus was kind of stupid and still created the world.**


End file.
